ADDICTION HELP PLEASE HELP!!!?

Hey so i have a problem and i need your advice.



A while ago, I used to be porn addict. (I am a high school guy). I loved the feelin of pleasing myself. I realized, however, that this had been a destructive habit and had tried to stop myself. Twice. Both times I failed. I used to watch porn over 5 times a day and over 7 days a week. However, recently, I have been able to stop cold turkey. It has been 4 weeks since I have stopped and I am feeling very proud of myself. This happened when I was talking to one of my lady friends and when we happened to be talking, she told me that she didn't believe that I looked at porn. Her comments made me feel so guilty that I stopped then and thus I have not looked at porn for over 4 weeks. My porn addiction had always been a sense of internal shame to me, and I feel like it made me more introspective. Now, though, I can interact more easily with other people and act just like a normal person. Without my porn addiction, I can focus on my school work and bettering myself instead of tearing myself down with this destructive habit.





My problem, however, is twofold. One: When my lady friend told me that she believed that I did not look at porn, I think I kind of mentally stored those words and whenever I felt the urge to go, I would remember her words and convince myself that I could not betray her trust and defile her innocence. However, I recently went to a dance (prom) with her and saw her freaking with another guy there. Now, I know she is just my friend and I don't have any romantic feelings for her (i think...) something made me feel very wrong about watching that. I think it was the fact that I had made her to be a symbol of innocence in my mind, and then when I saw that, I realized that she was just like anybody else. That made me kind of disappointed, because that symbol of innocence in my head was gone. (Kinda like in the Great Gatsby when Daisy becomes not magical for Gatsby anymore, u know??)



How should I react to this???





My second thing is that recently I have been having overwhelming urges to go and watch porn. I'm not sure, but I think this might be realted to the fact that since my idea of my friend's innocence in my head is gone, now I don't really care whether or not she thinks I look at porn. (ALthough it could also that be that I just used her as an excuse to stop, because I internally wanted to all along. Addicts always want to quit, they just want an excuse to do so. I think I made her my excuse to stop).



I don't want to restart my habit and was wondering what I should do. I want to talk to somebody about it, but who??? I don't walk to broach the topic with my parents or couselor because it is embarassing. I know my friends will make fun of me if I tell them (Indeed, I have made fun of one of my friends when I found some porn on his computer. Call me a hypocrite ;-)



Who should I talk to and what should I do???



I do not get urges when I am talking to people or preoccupied with my hobbies or schoolwork, but I find the urge ubearable when I am alone. I have often gone of 72+ hour hunger strikes to weaken myself so much that I will not have the libido to go watch it. I have found that reducing fat content in my diet and listening to music or being distracted helps, but I want to talk to someone about my probelm. Who???



Any help would be greatly appreciated. (DOn't tell me to restart my habit and that porn is normal and healthy. I know it is NOT!!!! Don't try to convice me otherwise. I know of its destructive properties better than most.)ADDICTION HELP PLEASE HELP!!!?
ok first of all, you are very smart admitting this. it shows you have a lot of integrity about you. dont listen to these people on here they dont know what they are talking about.

now i dont know if you are a religious person or anything but if you want to stop like you said, you do need a reason. that reason can be God. you can promise God that you wont and ask him to help you stop and keep those urges away. if you are a christian that means that you are not a part of this world and watching porn is definitely not the way to go, considering that most of the world does it.



ok sorry if i come out as harsh but anyone who is watching porn right now or is addicted according to the bible will be going to hell one day. if you want to stop and go to heaven, repent from that sin and trust in Christ, because he is really your only hope. i really hope you take this to heart and not think ';oh its that stupid religion stuff again';



this will change your life. because jesus died on the cross for you, you can ask God to forgive you of that sin and make a complete turn around.



i would stay busy, and working out helps too i think. if you have any more questions or comments about any of this you can email me at sh3bb@hotmail.com



i really want you to stop. its hard. it will take your whole life. please watch this video if you get the chance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhX7m3rF20c

if that doesnt scare you i dont know what will. please email me if you want, id love to talk to you about anything. just remember you can have hope in Christ and go to heaven if you repent and trust him in everything.ADDICTION HELP PLEASE HELP!!!?
Every one looks at porn. Why do you think there is so much on the internet?
1. You are a good writer

2. You are thinking WAY TOO MUCH about this

3. Every guy in the world looks at porn except for monks

4. I think its just that you are feeling guilty about doing it, so you think there is a problem with you, when in fact there isnt a lot to feel guilty about... its human nature. Don't worry about it so much, but the whole 5 times a day thing was a little too much. Maybe chop it down to once a day.
I put this in all your questions so you will read it. I am in the exact same position as you, I was astonished by reading this, its like I was reading me, I didn't think there would be any one like me, although for me, I have been cold turkey for only around 2 weeks, still have many urges, even dreams are against me, when I am also alone, and bored, its hard, that addition is torturous, I went this long by praying to the Lord God, for I know I can't do it by myself, if I continue without repenting I will burn in hell, right now I am on the computer to search random stuff, to keep me occupied, I googled the question ';why do I like girls so much';, and to my surprise I found this answer. I am 18, I would strongly recommend you to read the bible KJV version only. I also know of that destructive properties, so torturous, I thought it was impossible to overcome it, but I read a biblical verse, ';whats impossible for man is possible for God';, and so I wrote and asked God, for the help needed, and how nice he was, for here I am 2weeks, feeling alive again, whatever you do, stay away from computer, and don't watch porn. Before stopping watching porn, I asked God for help, I had a dream, in this dream everywhere I looked it was filled with porn, then a loud terrifying voice yelled at me, I was so scared, I had never felt fear like that, even though it was a dream, once that voice yelled at me, the scene changed I was holding a box, at though cleaning my room and putting all the unneeded things in a box, with a smile, as though I was cleaning my mind, and then there was a large window, there was a white figure one I can't describe, and I told him I wanted to wear white for it was my favorite color, but instead my cloths changed to gray, and this figure said do as I do, raise your hands up, so he raised his hands, and went up to the clouds, so I did the same, but I thought I would fall, for I wasn't worthy, so I went, and I was being raised, I went to the clouds just underneath the figures feet and, the voice said, ';Go and tell them';, and so I fell, as I thought, and I woke up feeling so tired with the words in my mind trying to discern the dream, immediately the words carnal christian came into mind, that if your willing to do only half of what God wants, then he will only take you up to heaven half way, and drop you down, and in that day, I was in such a deep sleep, I didn't even want to move. So from then on I started praying and staying away from porn, but today in the morning, as I was sleeping, I was tempted in my dreams, I woke up and went back to sleep, enjoying the dream, but still trying to fight back, then I had an uttermost scary dream, there was a loud scary noise, and I was on my knees, and I looked out the window, and saw many huge dragon like birds filled in the air, and then one burning with fire, like a phoenix, noticed me and came down, immediately I started praying, and the dragon like phoenix then ignored me and turned another direction, but just as that happend, it felt like everything exploded and red flames were everywhere, so I woke up so scared again, and I threw all the bad perverted thoughts away. And now here I am again this time answering your question. Whether you believe me or not is your choice others probably will not, but it was scary and real to me, so I will stop, and hoping to continue to pray and repent with the Lord God Helping me. I hope you don't fall into sin.